Venus Trapped in Mars Sports and Lifestyle Blog Dallas

20 June 2017

Terrified of Happiness




photo cred by my bestie Magen  

I've written multiple posts about having this crazy feeling that I can't embrace. It's the being "terrified of happiness feeling" or better known as that moment in SATC when Charlotte finds out she's finally pregnant.

Why do we women want to sabotage ourselves when we are happy??

I'm terrified to talk about how happy I am, because I somehow feel like I will jinx myself and the flood gates of bad news bears will unleash their wrath.

HOW
RIDICULOUS
IS
THAT?

Then my anxiety kicks in and starts flooding my head with the most terrifying what ifs. What if something happened to CB? is generally the first what if that starts. I then get petrified that something will happen and start stressing myself out to the point of being unable to sleep at night worried about losing my best friend.

YALL
HE
IS
LAYING
RIGHT
NEXT
TO
ME
AND
I
AM
SABATOGING
MY
OWN
HAPPINESS

WHYYYY!?!?!

Does anyone else do this. I've had some really great news at both work and here on VTIM/Dallas Love List and yet, I'm too scared to get excited because I find something to worry about with it. A lot of times, when someone emails me for a collaboration that sounds too good to be true I just assume I'm being catfished and I'll never see the money.

Which again, is INSANE.Why can't I just be happy when there is cause for happiness. I'm engaged to my favorite person in the whole world - what could be better than that? Why am I so scared that something bad is going to happen?

Does anyone else tip toe around their happiness terrified that if you make too much noise, the bad will be awakened?


No comments :

Post a Comment

Comments make my heart go boom boom.

I respond to all comments, if you are leaving me comments and not getting a reply, you may be a no-reply blogger. Fix it HERE!