Venus Trapped in Mars

31 January 2013

Thirsty Thursday: Why don't all sports let you booze while playing?

Bowling, golf, darts, billiards, categories in the shallow end of the community pool.... these are a few of my favorite sports to partake in! 

Why you ask?

Duh, because you can drink while playing! In fact, not only can you drink, it makes you way better. That first game of bowling I look like this guy...

image via

Oh god no, I'm totally kidding. I could never be that bad.

The O man bowled a 37 with Seven (no that isn't a typo just to clarify since I tend to use a lot of typos in my writing, seems to give it a little something extra, don't you think?) SEVEN GUTTER BALLS.

 I'm not even mad, I'm impressed. You really have to try to throw seven gutter balls. 

I mean, sometimes I'll be bowling, it will go in the gutter then pop back out right at the end and knock down three pins. But that is just me, I'm quite the gifted athlete. You're welcome. 

But Obama managed to keep all seven in the gutter! Ran all those perfectly good shots right in the gutter. 
(disclaimer: I don't fancy myself a democrat or a republican and that is not a pun for where our country's economy is. Although I really like puns. Ok twist my arm, fine PUN INTENDED).

And where the heck is he bowling? Are those wood-paneled walls back there? Is this an ex WWF wrestler's basement man cave?

I mean, I live in Dallas, Tx and this is what our bowling alley's look like. 


I'm not bragging. Just would have thought the president of the United States of Awesome could have gotten a better alley to bowl his 7 gutter balls. 

So back to my point. Alcohol.

Had Obama had an ice cold pitcher of miller light (or 7) perhaps he would have played more like these epic bowling legends: 
image via
Ok so I have never actually seen the big Lebowski all the way through. It was a dude movie, there were no glittery Louboutins or Real Housewives throwing tables at each other, so my tiny female brain lost interest. But I know they drank a crap ton and they were fantastic bowlers. 

See, like I said, thank you alcohol, works every time.

So happy Thirsty Thursday Venus Lovers. Grab a beer, cocktail, vino, jaeger bomb... whatevs and let's go play something! 




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