Venus Trapped in Mars Sports and Lifestyle Blog Dallas

28 March 2013

Don't be scared of the big bad spray tan!

So I am jumping really far away from my normal blogging topics today to discuss spray tanning. 



I am the biggest sunless tanning advocate.
People often say, "Oh my gosh, you have the most beautiful tan, what do you do to get so dark?"
Actually, no one asks that. But moving on. 

If you want to be bronze, thinner, glo-geous, thinner, prettier, thinner...
Go sunless.

I hear so many people say...
"Am I going to be like Ross from friends?"
No.
"Am I going to look like the New Jersey tan lady?"
No.
"Am I going to be orange?"
No. 

Do you really think tanning salons could continue to charge $35-$55 for a spray tan system that did any of those things? No way! You get what you pay for and as long as you do Mystic or Versa you will be golden. Literally. 

So since I spray tan 1-2 times per week, I will appoint myself an "expert!" 

{before pic}



Don't shower, don't work out, don't sing in the rain, don't pass go, don't go directly to jail.
Just watch real housewives marathons and do nothing.
Although you will be wearing a barrier cream while you spray, it doesn't block everything. Wash your hands right as you leave the room (put your clothes back on first obvi) and that will prevent having dirty looking hands. Some people prefer to wait about 2 hours, either way, get em washed! 

For the mystic tan there are so many choices...
Light, Medium Dark
Bronzer or no bronzer
Enhancers
Scents...

Try something different each time. It is best to start out with the light cartridge to see how dark your skin will develop the color. Don't be scared of the dark cartridge... it is actually my personal favorite.
The solution develops differently on everyone's skin. 
Fun fact:
The more protein you have in your body, the darker the color will develop. 
So eat that meat kids! 

Nearly every salon out there has a website with a coupon for their Sunless Tan.
Use them! If you have never done a spray tan before, I can almost guarantee you will get a discount on your first couple of sessions! 


AND here is my after picture when I follow all these steps correctly...


Venus Trapped

27 March 2013

Why won't anyone give me free stuff?

How often do you see this?
Care of (C/O) Tory Burch, Hobo, Kate Spade... etc and so on

Here is my dear friend Rachel who blogs at Pink Peonies


Just kidding we have never met each other ever. Nor have I ever interacted or even left a comment. 
I just awkwardly drool over her outfits. And Loubis. And the number of C/O items she has.

Why won't anyone ever give ME free stuff. 
I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and dog gone it people like me. 



Why I Deserve Free Stuff:
Girls already want clothes. That is a given. I am getting trying to get girls into watching and maybe even enjoying SPORTS. This is new. If I can increase the number of girls that like going to sporting events, sporting attendance increases. 
You don't have to be able to solve Pi to figure that out.
I'm changing the world here, Obama. 



What to Send:
I am not a fashion blogger. I am not asking for clothes from you Tory. Although I won't rule that out, let's not be rash here. 
Side Note: To whom it make concern at the Victoria's Secret Pink Line:
I'l take all of this // this // this // this
You can leave out the fringe tanks, don't nobody have time for that.

Ok what was I saying?
Oh right, I'm not a fashion blogger. I'm not asking for clothes. (See exceptions above) 
I want TICKETS!!!


Sending me tickets gets you:
1. Unlimited Selfies from the front camera of my iphone
2. Two images of the jumbo tron uploaded to Instagram with hashtag of your choice
3. Six pictures of my beer (one for each beer) - Instagram upload included
4. 8 pics of me throwin a peace sign with your team's court/field in the background - insta upload extra 
5. You may buy me a hot dog
6. One Seventh Inning Stretch (where applicable) jumbotron performance
7. One Kiss cam performance. (Please provide other participant)
8. One game participant. (Preferably the layup for a million dollars game- I get several attempts)
9. Four pictures with your mascot
10. No male cheerleaders please

We good?? Message me for P.O box.

If you need me to travel to your game, that can be arranged. 
You will need to provide: airline tickets (I get the miles though), per diem ($800/day), wardrobe, any overnight accommodations (the W preferred), athlete chauffer to game encouraged.


Venus Trapped