The MASH Fairies are Coming... And Glorious It Will Be

Fate skips no one. 

Free will, gone. Woman's prerogative, no. Liquor stores closed on Sunday in the south, yes.

 Fate will for sure come to us.

Alas, fellow bloggers, we have to have it all laid out for when they get here. 

By "they" I clearly mean the MASH fairy(s)

Your MASH results are steadfast, honest, sincere and unavoidable.

The MASH fairy will come for you, are you ready?

I misspoke briefly earlier, and I want to briefly apologize and explain my indiscretion. 

We do have choices, 5 choices in 5 different categories to be exact.

Choose wisely, because once that pen stops swirling round and round and round

Your life will be forever changed.

I hear the fairies are already in zip code 75003 right now so they are nearing my apartment. 

I need to be ready when they make their great arrival. Let's get started...

Husband:

Tony Romo - did you read Monday's post?? 6 years $150 mil. and he doesn't even have to go to work during playoffs, we can stay home and watch the games together.

Peyton Manning - Lifetime supply of Papa Johns pizza.

Chipper Jones - we met when I was 9 and he said he would come for me when I was older.

Jason Witten -  He has a nice butt

Andy Roddick- He also has a nice butt.

Car:

Ranger Rover - I can be a Real Housewife of Atlanta

Bentley - not entirely sure what that even is, but I hear it a lot on MTV Cribs

BMW Convertible - forgot to denote with this, no base models please. Did you hear that MASH Fairy?

Rolls Royce Phantom - again, not sure what this is. I'm sure trade-in value is reasonable

Ferrari - because I like to party.

Job:

TV Timeout Guy - the guy in the red hat. Job is to stand on the field during a tv time out. Then step off the field when t.v. time out is over. 

Basketball Wives Cast Member - may be a problem that I didn't choose a basketball player for husband. 

Sideline reporter - says things like "The team with the most points will be the victor in this game" Back to you Ted.

Hot Dog Taste Tester - test at each MLB balpark to make sure they are not poison.

Seat Filler - Designated person to sit in single seats that went unsold in front row of sporting event

Pet:

General - whoops, well already have him. My teen years were crazy, meth is a crazy drug. 

Bunny - Would prefer not to have that

Cat - More specifically, grumpy kitty. Thanks.

Penguin - eh, why not?

Giraffe - To ride to work on days I'm "going green"

Kids:

Zero- 

Zero-

Zero-

Zero-

Zero- thanks for the offer but I'll pass.

And in the crazy, spinning wheel of destiny ----- a 6 is revealed

*ooooooohh ahhhhhh*

Ok fellow bloggers, go forth and spread the good word of the MASH fairies and

prepare for their arrival.

Tell em Venus sent ya.

The Worst Sound in Sports: AHHHHH awwww

If you played sports as a kid, you probably know this sound & feeling...

Venus launches a three pointer for the win...........

The crowd's hands go up... 

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

awwwwww

Venus misses. Team loses. 

I know those are different sports, but I liked the picture and this is MY BLOG. I do what I want! 

That ahhhhawww sound has to be the worst sound in the world to hear if you are an athlete. 

Well, let me tell you a little story about a boy named Yu. Yu Darvish to be exact. 

So as not to get him confused with the other Yu's you may know. 

Yu is like a totally important pitcher for the Texas Rangers.

Well little Yu was the starting pitcher in last night's matchup at the Houston Astros. 

Before I get into that, let me tell you another story about a perfect game. 

Definition: A perfect  game

A game in which a pitcher, or combination of pitchers, pitches a victory that lasts a minimum of 9 innings and in which no opposing player reaches base. 

No hits, no walks, no hit baseman. No one makes it past the batters box. 

This has only occurred 23 -- yes just 23 -- times in Major League Baseball HISTORY

Ok so back to my little boy Yu.

Yu went into the very last inning of the game last night with a perfect freaking game on his hands.

He had gone 8 innings, with 14 strikeouts.

Here we are, bottom of the 9th inning.

First batter up to face Yu, hits the ball, but he is OUT at first base.

Second batter up to face Yu, hits the ball, but he is thrown OUT at first base.

One. Freaking. Out. separates Yu and the 24th perfect game in the history of baseball. 

Crowd is on their feet (well most of them since it was a Houston Astros home game)

First pitch, is a hit right at the pitcher. Easy ground out.......

BUT IT GOES THROUGH HIS LEGS!!!! 

Our hearts are breaking for you... er.... Yu.

No one ever pays me in gum.