Let me explain...
When you're a little girl, let's say ages 3-9, more than likely, socks aren't on your list of wants.
You want:
Barbie dolls
Beanie Babies
Etch-a-sketches
Tamagotchis.
Easy Bake Ovens
A Barbie Jeep (never got one.... maybe this is my year)
All of the American Girl Dolls (*cough* Samantha *cough*)
My Little Pony
Things You Don't Want:
Clothes
See also: Socks
As you get into your teenage years, you now want clothes, all the clothes. The more Limited Too boxes I saw when I ripped open that first strip of wrapping paper, the more my heart pitter pattered with excitement. Still, socks were not something I particularly wanted to see.
Fast forward to early 20s, just give me money and gift cards and I'll be blissfully happy. In your early 20s, your favorite day of the year is Dec 26th because you can burn through all those gift cards in a matter of minutes. Still, no socks.
But here I am at age 26 (yes, I still can claim 26 for many more hours upon hours upon hours) with a good job and a steady income and I realized that my list of wishes still doesn't necessarily include socks, no, it is way more depressing than that. Isn't a gift supposed to be something you don't want to buy for yourself? Something that will be a treat to receive? So what are some things you don't want to buy for yourself at age 26, but would still be a treat to receive?
So I bring you... The Adult Holiday Gift Guide
1// Toilet Paper::: I hate buying toilet paper. It is so big and bulky and awkward to carry up 4 flights of apartment stairs. Plus I always forget to buy it, then I'm left with none when I need it and that isn't good.
2// Oil Change & Car Maintenance::: I despise getting an oil change. It's never just an oil change,
"Mizzzz Webb, we noticed that your so and so levels are low, that'll be $500."
"Mizzzz Webb, we noticed that your X is broken, that'll be $125."
"Mizzzz Webb, we noticed that your blah-de-blah is leaking, that'll be $375."
3// Utility Payment::: Worst thing in the world to budget for. Some months it is in the hundreds, some months in the 50s, you just never know. Please someone just gift this to me, if only for just one month of the year.
4// Fat Free Feta::: You are probably highly confused by this one. But Fat Free Feta is EXPENSIVE, but I love it. I mean, we're talking $6.99 a box if it isn't on sale. I'd love to see that under the tree this year!
5// Dentist::: Please just take my teeth with you and visit the dentist for me. Allow them to lecture you about flossing more often, allow them to jab at your gums with that ice pick of theirs, allow them to make the "nails on a chalkboard" sound in your ear when they scrape at your teeth.
6// Booze::: Give me all the booze under the tree. Got a bottle of vodka you'll never drink? Wrap it up and give it to me. Have a 6 pack of miller light in the fridge, but you only drink Coors? I'll take it! Bought tequila to make margaritas, but never got around to making said ritas? Tequila it to me!
And because I'm such a good gift giver (really I am!) I'm here to give one of you guys a gift that is on my Adult Christmas List... BOOZE!
Twisted Shotz, which you might remember I've never met a shot(z) I didn't like, is giving away a party pack to one of my readers!!!
Well, I lied. It has come to my attention that I cannot legally give away alcohol, stupid stupid stupid. But I actually still have a bunch of Twisted Shotz swag to give away, coupons for you to score some Shotz from your local liquor store, and I'm going to also throw in some ESPN sized ad space on VTIM! If you want to sample some Twisted Shotz with me, party at my place this weekend. Free Shotz for everyone, no dumb laws can touch that invite! #boom
Just leave a comment and tell me: Why You Like Shot(z). Any shots. I want to know why you like em, what you like about em, what are your favorites? The best answer wins, I'm not going to run this giveaway neutrally, by picking a number out of a hat, I want y'all to make me laugh while I sit in my cubicle today.
And.... go.
